break up

Break Up: It is the Best for Dumpers

5:58 PM

Every break up is painful, who says it is not. If the decision is not mutual, the break up is always best for the dumper; it is not "the best for both of us". (So, don't believe him/her when he/she says it when he/she breaks up with you.) The only time, however, it will be best for the one being left is when he/she choose a better life without the one who left him/her and when every decision s/he makes will not depend on the dumper.

When the reason for break up is because he/she doesn't love you anymore, don't buy it. Remember, there is no such thing as falling out of love. Love is a decision and a choice.

"It's not about you, it's about me" is the most popular reason a guy or gal will give when breaking up. It is a form of escape; it is to make you feel good and at the same to not lose his/her ego. It is also simply saying "You are to be blamed for this failed relationship." It shows immaturity.

Does this sentence ring any bell? "I'm not happy anymore with this relationship." If yes, it's the funniest reason you could have ever heard. Oh really, they are not happy anymore. Since when? The best answer to that is "why you didn't do any thing to make "us" happy again in this relationship". Does he/she consider your feelings in the relationship in the first place? Does he/she ask if you ever feel or had felt unhappy in the relationship? It takes two to tango, yes sure it is, so it means the dumper also has to work on it first especially if the dumper backs up his/her reason with "you're the only one who's handling the relationship". So, do you feel the weight if you're the only now who's handling the relationship? I bet you will if that's true. But if not, then consider it as an alibi. If the dumper's reason is not being happy, it is his/her problem not the dumpee. He/she has a choice to sit down with his/her partner and tell his/her problem with the relationship. If he/she didn't do it before the break up, chances are there are other reasons. As the dumpee, of course, you blame yourself because you don't make him/her happy. But think deeply, if you are the type who is abusive, selfish, or you have those negative attitudes, I guess that's the reason dumper wants to get out of the relationship.

If the dumper insists that both of you have different priorities, uhm, where the hell does it come from. Sure, both have different priorities, nothing is always the same in the relationship. Even the strengths and weaknesses, likes and dislikes, and so many others are not always the same. That's why we hear opposite attracts. Any way, this is the most ridiculous alibi, I mean reason, one can ever say.

Anyways, every relationship has flaws and both people in the relationship should examine themselves first. Don't blame the other one; always have a good communication. Before making any decision, think first why you were in the relationship in the first place and why do you plan to get of it. Don't give your loved one crappy reasons. The dumper is only the one who knows the real reason why he/she wants to get away with the relationship. He/she is only the one who will make things right. If he/she doesn't tell the real reasons, it is because "it is the best for him/her" and not for both of you.

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Prudence Charlz

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