Is there such thing as falling out of love?

4:44 PM

At the first few weeks of breakup, the dumpee may try to beg, plead, and cry with the dumper. (I bet most of the dumpees had done this). In a month, you keep on thinking what happen to your relationship. But I will not cover all the reasons in this post because I would only like to focus about “if one really falls out of love”. If you heard him/her said this to you as his/her reason for breakup, then you may continue reading. But let me remind you that this is only my opinion and what I believe in.

He/She falls out of love, okay, then we accept it, we have to accept. However, is there such thing? Love is based on emotion and it varies. Love is also a choice. You choose to whom you want to give your love. If you decide to end a relationship, it is also your choice to stop loving that person (Well, at least not like as before, dumpers still have feelings but won’t admit it and try to suppress themselves from letting it feel again). When one stops loving someone, there is/are reason/s for it. One doesn’t just say “I’m falling out love” (which means “I want to stop loving you”). If you have arguments before the breakup, s/he might just want to be out of the relationship and avoid it instead of resolving it with you.

Dumpers believe they don’t love you anymore, when in fact they just don’t want to continue being in love with you because of the difficult times. They just sometimes feel tired or bored with the relationship and has mistaken these feeling as falling out of love with the dumpees. They tend to forget all the happy memories you have, the good times, or the other bad times you experienced that you were able to resolve together when they decided to leave the relationship. They don’t want to entertain the fact that sometimes relationship go through rough parts or bumps in the road, that every perfect relationship also has flaws, that those in a relationship sometimes feel bored or unhappy, and that sometimes relationship has to pause to be able to realize how to keep the fire burning, but it doesn’t mean they don’t love their “loved ones” anymore. Being in a relationship or being in love doesn’t mean being in love with the person “all the time” you are with him/her. Why? Because of the difficult times, you sometimes wonder if you love the person but in the end it’s your choice if you would like to continue the love that you feel for her or not. So again, you don’t “fall out” of love.

Did s/he find another love after s/he broke up with you? Yes? Do you think they were already talking with each other before the breakup? It is possible. If you were having arguments during your relationship and you were able to resolve them, then all of the sudden (whether you were arguing the same issues or not) s/he called the relationship off, then s/he might already find someone to give his/her love and stop loving you like s/he used to love you. This is actually the sad part or reason why a relationship has to end.

Okay, whether s/he said s/he falls out of love or not, a long-term relationship that ends is really painful and will leave the dumpee devastated. Although it is hard, you must accept it.

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  1. It's not the end of everything. It's just experience earned. :)


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